What Boredom Does
by maddiegirl
Summary: Harry Potter is bored, and slighly unstable, and he is joined by Ron Weasely, how will the prove to the world that they arn't crazy? Read and Review. WARNING: CONTAINS A SEROUSLY OOC HARRY, AND SOME ODD ENEMIES, AND MAYBE A LITTLE WEIRDNESS.
1. The Pillow

What Boredom Does-

**What Boredom Does-**

**Disclaimer I don't own Harry Potter.**

Harry Potter was bored. Very bored indeed. It had been two years since the Final Battle had ended, and there was nothing to do. He had married Ginny, but she was out, training. Teddy was with his Grandma and Harry's friends were all at work. Harry had been forced to take a day of.

Harry sat on the sofa looking at the clock.

_Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, TICK, TOCK! _

CRASH!

Harry suddenly jumped alert. The noise had come from upstairs in the bedroom so it could only be…

"EVIL LORD PILLOW YOU STIKE AGAIN!" shouted Harry angrily. The Dark Pillow had evilly made a crashing sound to distract him from looking at the clock! Along with Evil Lord Pillow lay FeatherTail his faithful serverent, looking mean, they had cast a sleeping spell on Professor Comfydore and Professor MacSoft!

"Ha-ha Harry Potter you have fallen into my trap! FeatherTail bring me my wand!"

FeatherTail got Lord Pillow's wand and brought it to him.

"Exspelliearmus!" yelled Harry.

Lord Pillows wand Flew out of his hand. Lord Pillow lurched himself at Harry.

"You to-good-to-be-true –person-you!" yelled Lord Pillow.

Harry, Lord Pillow and FeatherTail ran into the landing and fought to the finish. Harry threw Lord Pillow down stairs and FeatherTail tripped Harry down the stairs and went to kill him until Harry got up and jumped on the two of them spreading a explosion of feathers everywhere.

Ginny walked in, confused.

"Harry what on earth are you doing?" she asked him.

"The Evil Lord Pillow, he tried to kill me!" yelled Harry.

"You ruined two good pillows!"

"Good, Ginny? Or Bad?"

"Harry you've only been alone for two hours!"

"But crazy murdering Pillow's?"

"Harry calm down tell me all about it."

"So," Harry began, "I was sat there and tick,tock time and crash!..."

_The End?_


	2. Derek!

What Boredom Does C2-

**What Boredom Does C2-**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing, apart from the evil man-eating plant, Derek. **

Ginny Weasely sighed. She knew today was going to be a long one. The kids were visiting her Mum and Dad. Harry was going to be back in five minutes. Ginny knew she shouldn't leave Harry alone again, because he is a _bit _unstable at the moment. Just a little bit. But she had to go to work today.

"Hi." Came Harry's voice.

"Hi, Harry. I've got to go to work, now. I've made sure the pillows are in the attic." Said Ginny.

"Oh, good. We don't want them attacking me again do we?"

"No, no. We don't."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Harry sat down and read a newspaper, for a bit. But than there was a knock at the door. Albus, Lily and James couldn't be home yet, could they?

Harry went to answer it. No one was there, but there was a plant. The plant looked like it was smiling.

"Oh! What a fantastic, happy plant! I shall name you Derek!" said Harry, getting excited.

Harry played with Derek the plant for a bit, and thought about sending an Owl to Neville, to ask him about Derek. But all of a sudden, Derek moved! Derek opened what looked like a mouth to show…

TEETH! Derek was alive!

Harry screamed.

"OH NO ITS VOLDEMORT REINCARNATED!" shouted Harry hysterically.

The plant lurched towards Harry and attacked him.

"AGGGRRRHHH!" shouted Harry. The plant was trying to eat him.

The fight continued, Harry wads losing the battle with Derek when…

Ginny Weasely had decided to go home for lunch, just to check on Harry.

"Harry! What are you doing on the floor!?" asked Ginny.

"THE PALNT GINNY, DEAREST THE PLANT! IT ATTACKED ME! IT CAME AT THE DOOR AND I NAMED IT DERREK AND IT STARTED TO TRY AND EAT ME! DEREK IS A MAN-EATING PLANT!" Shouted Harry desperately.

"Derek?!" asked Ginny,

"Harry there is no bloody plant! I think we'd better go to St. Mungo's." said Ginny.

And of Ginny and Harry went to St. Mungo's.


	3. Racoons Are Evil, As Are Squirrels

"Harry, are you sure you're ready to come home

"Harry, are you sure you're ready to come home?" asked a worried Ginny.

"Of course I am, Ron and Hermione are staying for a couple of days, aren't they?" says Harry, he was over that crazy thing now.

"Well, okay then." Says Ginny. Opening the door to their house.

"Harry! It's been so long!" said Hermione, hugging him.

"Hello Hermione!" says Harry, returning her hug.

"Hi Harry." Says Ron.

"Harry, Ginny and I are going shopping with the kids, you and Ron will be okay, won't you?" said Hermione, looking concerned.

"Of course we will 'Mione." Says Ron.

After an hour of awkward silence, Harry decided to tell Ron how the whole world is evil.

"And then Evil Lord Pillow attacked me, jumping about and stuff then he practically chucked me down the stairs, jumping on me, and trying to kill me, but I defeated him. But he had followers, the plant, Derek, but it was Voldemort reincarnated. It was bloody scary, but he fled." Explained Harry.

"Blimey Harry, I never knew that, Hermione said that you had gone crazy, but I never believed her. I mean she's smart but not that smart." Said Ron. "What's that?" he said.

"OhmiMerlin! It's a Rabid Racoon and an acquaintance a Squirrel!" Shouted Harry. The Racoon was…evil! And the Squirrel looked evil too.

"Oh! It looks evil!" cried Ron.

"Just ignore it…he will leave." Said Harry.

But, after seven minuites the Racoon didn't leave. Instead it came crashing through the window!

SMASH!! CRASH!!

The Racoon came through, followed by his comrade, the Squirrel.

The Racoon took something out of the pocket of his leather jacket…A knife!!

The Racoon lurched himself at Harry in an extremely threatening way. Harry though with the Racoon, whilst Ron battled the Squirrel. The Racoon was proving a tough fight, with his razor sharp claws. Eventually the Racoon weakened.

Because his knife got turned on him. The Squirrel let out a cry of defeat and scrambled.

"Why did you kill a Racoon?" demanded Ginny.

"It…tired to kill me." Screeched Harry.

"Yeah…right!" sighed Ginny.

"It did Gin!" cried Ron.

"Right, both of you…to St. Mungo's!" said Hermione, leading them out of the house.

* * *

Thanks the for Reading, please review, the little button isn't far. I won't be updating until about the 15th August then not until the 6th September, I have my reasons, (pretty good ones too.) Anyway Knife Crime Is Wrong, do not carry knifes. (Sorry I'm watching the News and they are going on about knifes. Lucky they're not going on about Sand again, because this would be serouisly weird.) Thanks.


	4. The Return Of An Old Enemy

**A/N: I said I'd update sooner, didn't I? I said I'd update on the 6****th**** of September didn't I? And its now, the Ur…27****th**** of October isn't it? I'm in trouble. It's only twenty one days late!**

**Anyway, I worked hard on this chapter so PLEASE review, I beg of you, oh merciful readers!**

**Please?**

* * *

The clouds rolled over the hills, the grey of the sky meeting the pure green of the grass. The view from Harry Potter's and Ron Weasely's new 'home' was beautiful. Harry had been living there for almost a month now, and he still couldn't get over the view. The best part was that there were no Squirrels or Racoons. You see, Harry Potter had gone absolutely insane. After defeating Voldemort, he had battled with evil pillows and man eating plants called Derek, and along with Ron, he was attacked by a Racoon, and a Squirrel.

Ginny and Hermione had sent the two men to live in the countryside for a while, to 'calm down'. They regularly visited, to make sure they hadn't been 'attacked' again.

One day, after Ginny and Hermione had left, Harry and Ron started to talk.

"Do you think _they _will ever come back?" asked Ron.

"Yes, they said they wouldn't didn't they?" said Harry. Ron raised an eyebrow.

"Not them. The racoon and the squirrel!" shouted Ron, in outrage that his friend had forgotten about the dreadful attack.

"Oh. I don't think they'll be back, they were cowards." said Harry.

"Now that you put it like that, I guess I agree." decided Ron. Silence followed the short conversation, until a huge BANG erupted from upstairs. Both Harry and Ron climbed up the stairs to investigate the noise. What they saw standing waiting for them was both terrifying and evil, it was…

* * *

A PILLLOW! Harry's mouth fell open in shock and outrage. Ron's eyes widened then narrowed.

"Evil Lord Pillow you strike again!" shouted Harry, fumbling for his wand. _Damn, I left it in my shoe! _Thought Harry. Ron was too fumbling for his wand.

"Uh-oh, I put it in my pocket yesterday and Hermione took it home to wash!" cried Ron out loud.

"We'll fight him by hand!" growled Harry. And then FeatherTail jumped out from behind the door and wrestled Ron to the ground.

"Get of me you pillow!" said Ron, but his voice was muffled my FeatherTail's feathers. Evil Lord Pillow jumped onto Harry and held him to the ground.

Is this the end of Harry James Potter and Ronald – Weasley? Find out next time on What Boredom Does…

* * *

**DUN DUN DUH DUN!!!!**


	5. The Return Of An Old Enemy Part Two

**A/N: Urm....hi. WOW. It sure has been a while. Well then. Hmmmmh. Yes. So if anybody has been reading Sirius's Rosaline as well then you'll know that I previously 'quitted' fanfiction. I freaked out. Dramtic-ness is a trait of mine. I got a review that upset me and then my English teacher basically told that I couldn't write and that I shouln't 'curse another human with your writing'. This week, that teacher broke her foot. Be careful what you wish for. And I got a supply teacher, who said that I was good. So. Um. Yeah. Here it is, the first chapter of mine of 2009. **

**I hope I'm not too rusty. (NB: I have no spell check)**

**Disclaimer: I didn't own before, and I don't own it now. **

**The Return Of An Old Enemy Part 2:**

Harry Potter couldn't breathe because the pillow had covered his mouth completly. He tried to scream but it was impossible. Suddenly there was a sound from downstairs. Harry heard Ron scream to whoever it was to 'Help'. Harry silently prayed to Merlinthat it wasn't going to be someone who he really didn't want help from, like the actual Voldemort.

Harry heard footsteps run up the stairs. The door burst open and Harry saw who was standing there. He and Ron both gasped collectivly. It was...

Draco Malfoy.

"What the fu - " Draco began to say.

"Malfoy, this is only rated K +, for Merlin's sake!" Harry managed to say.

"Fine. What on earth? Happy, now, Potter?" Malfoy said.

"Well, I would be a whole lot happier if you kill the pillow that is killing me." Harry yelled.

"Oh in the name of all things magic, how is that pillow moving!" Malfoy said, fear in his voice.

"It's magic, duh." said Ron.

"Shut it, Weasley, I'm going to help you here." said Malfoy.

"Oh right, yeah. Help!" said Ron. Malfoy pointed his wand at the pillow and muttered a spell under his breath. Evil Lord PIillow flew out of the window and miles of into the distance.

Malfoy repeted his movements on Feathertail.

"Thanks, Malfoy." said Harry. Ron was silent. Harry glared at him.

"Yeh, um, thanks, Malfoy. I guess." Ron mumbled to his shoes.

"Why are you here, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"I was conveinantly passing when I heard a yell. I followed it with my new-found curiousity and came inside without knocking. I then heard Weaseley here shout, and so I came upstairs. You know the rest. Now, tell ME what happened." Malfoy explained.

"Well, it stared a while back now. I was at home and there was this tick, tock, tick, tick, tock sound and then and CRASH, I ran upstairs and EvilLordPillow...." Harry started.

_(One hour, fifty-two minutes and sixteen seconds later)_

"WOW. Harry, I beleive you for once. I wonder why Granger and girl-Weaseley don't..." Malfoy said.

"I don't know. But we have to prove it to them." said Harry. "Tonight." he added, looking darkly at the wardrobe.

**A/N: How was it, a little short but it is part 2. We have a new member in the club. Hmmm. **


End file.
